You Can't Hold Me Anymore

Foreword: I wrote this during the days following a time of intense anxiety. Where my world started to fall apart in my mind. I could see no logical conclusion in the midst of the chaos. This is an immensely personal piece. I wasn't sure if I was going to publish it here. However, I surmised that to do so would be a reminder to myself and hopefully anyone who reads it, that there is a light. There is always hope despite how impenetrable the darkness seems at the time.

Checking out considered an option?

In my mind it was for me

Logical reasoning, side of brain

Screams wait, it doesn't have to be

When the darkness comes when the patterns blur

The reason for being here fades

I wonder how I'll get back to me

When clarity of mind evades

Pacing with agitation

Bang my head against the frame

Stratospheric anxiety inflation

Blade of knife to mame the pain

Blade to my chest to divert the pain

Shock the agitator away

Feel something other than numb fear

I can't run, but I can't stay

Looking at this stranger

With his darting eyes

Searching for long lost reason

His fear had paralysed

The dawning realisation

The stranger there is me

I know I need to help him

I know I need to save me

Watching this on playback

I hang my head and weep

How did I even get to here?

From safe shallows into the deep

However will this play out?

I'm not entirely sure

But one thing I know for certain

You can't hold me anymore.

(©) Dom Giddy 2021