You Can't Hold Me Anymore
Foreword: I wrote this during the days following a time of intense anxiety. Where my world started to fall apart in my mind. I could see no logical conclusion in the midst of the chaos. This is an immensely personal piece. I wasn't sure if I was going to publish it here. However, I surmised that to do so would be a reminder to myself and hopefully anyone who reads it, that there is a light. There is always hope despite how impenetrable the darkness seems at the time.
Checking out considered an option?
In my mind it was for me
Logical reasoning, side of brain
Screams wait, it doesn't have to be
When the darkness comes when the patterns blur
The reason for being here fades
I wonder how I'll get back to me
When clarity of mind evades
Pacing with agitation
Bang my head against the frame
Stratospheric anxiety inflation
Blade of knife to mame the pain
Blade to my chest to divert the pain
Shock the agitator away
Feel something other than numb fear
I can't run, but I can't stay
Looking at this stranger
With his darting eyes
Searching for long lost reason
His fear had paralysed
The dawning realisation
The stranger there is me
I know I need to help him
I know I need to save me
Watching this on playback
I hang my head and weep
How did I even get to here?
From safe shallows into the deep
However will this play out?
I'm not entirely sure
But one thing I know for certain
You can't hold me anymore.
(©) Dom Giddy 2021