Why When The Sun Shines?
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
Foreword: It's a beautiful warm mid September day. The sun is shining and the sky an unspoilt gorgeous blue. I however feel like it's a grey winters day. To be honest, I feel hopeless. I know it will pass. Depression does. Despite my faith, my depression tells my mind that God doesn't care, he doesn't listen and I'd be better off gone. It tells me God doesn't care about my anxieties over my health, nor does he care I feel I no longer have a useful purpose. Odd isn't it that I personally feel I only have a useful purpose if I'm employed and being paid?
I did what I usually do nowadays..write about it!
Why when the sun shines
And the sky is deepest blue
Do I sit alone in my thoughts
And feel so far from you?
Why when the sun shines
And I should be feeling great
When only for myself
I feel a sense of hate?
Why when the sun shines
And the breeze it gently blows
The birds they sing so hopefully
But for me they sound so hollow?
Why when the sun shines
Is it not my time to smile?
I don't know where I go from here
To escape this tiresome trial..
Why when the sun shines
Do I question if you hear me?
Or am I wasting my time
Searching, constantly peering?
Why when the sun shines
Is positivity in the dark?
Negativity hunting it down
Like a blood thirsty killer shark.
Why when the sun shines?
I really need to know
Am I back in that desolate place
Where I never want to go?
Why when the sun shines
Is my lightness in the shade?
I have to trust and pray to you
That soon the shade will fade.
(©) Dom Giddy 2020