Who Where or Why?

I don't know where to be

Or even why to be

The joy today has escaped from me

I fight so hard to be

To be me for who?

More for you than me?

For I don't see any worth in me

I don't know what I see

A chasm of infinity

A numbing repeated cycle, empty

Snap back now and again, reality

Is not a reality I want to be

Explain to me, my brain to me

Trauma effecting a toll on me?

Decades rolled by so silently

Wide eyed muted, stare on I plea

Infinite number of questions in me

Written in invisible ink, can't see

Not enough days left for clarity

For me to know who, where or why to be.

©lyrical_lifebydg2021