The Right Way

I've wandered through life

Along its highways and byways,

To avoid the grief and strife,

I've looked down, not up,

Anywhere but my way,

I think I went the left way

Cos this way doesn't seem the right way

Avoided the awkwardness

Of my own insecurities

By my incessant necessity

In the endeavour to find the hilarity,

Deflecting the fears

As they dare to get near to me,

Somehow convincing me

I lacked any integrity

Telling me I'm made of glass you see,

Not the toughened kind, for security,

The finest stuff you get out to impress

Which breaks easily

When dropped, or knocked

It appears that's me you see

Easily polished with a cloth

To get it to gleam you see,

To trick and dazzle the eye

Ever so fleetingly

But enough to convince me

For a moment I have meaning to be,

Enough only for myself

Let alone for those around me

Who love me for free

Maybe why I reach out

Always it seems desperately? Maybe? ...Possibly? Internally

Continually fighting myself..frustratingly

To not combust spontaneously

Within the war zone raging

Amongst the streets of my conflicted mind.

Ridiculously

More triggers than a military armoury,

Empty thoughts like spent cartridge cases

Lay at my feet, discarded all around me.

Collapsed streets of smoking logical reasoning

lay in piles of rubble..dusty

Thick is the air I breathe, to choke me

A rolling symphony of thoughts

In waves too immersive for me

Break my shore, crash my brain quite literally

No lifeguard or lifeboat in sight

To throw me a line,

No sympathy required,

Needed nor asked for it's fine

I've got this far somehow,

I've wandered through life,

Along its highways and byways,

To avoid the grief and strife,

I've looked down not up,

Anywhere but my way,

I think I went the left way

But as long as the front of one shoe sees the back of the other

It's gotta be the right way

©lyricallifebydg2022