So Where Do I Go From Here?
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
Foreword: This piece is a take on my own depression and the self doubt it creates. A take on how dramatically my life and normality has changed over recent months. I know in reality, for me at least, my faith can see me through. But also identifying and recognising my own failures, also doubting my faith and it's usefulness. Recognising that letting the numbness of this mind disease and the overwhelming apathy it creates, can result in it engulfing me. I think in an attempt to battle this, I write in order that I don't shy away from the harsh reality of depression and the myriad of thought processes which accompany it.
So where do I go from here? Do I run towards the fear? Or hide away so far from you Ensure you're never near?
So where do I go from here? Do I let you mock and sneer? Take hold of me by scruff of neck As into my soul you peer..
So where do I go from here? When all I hear are jeers? Your snarl bounces off the walls Echoes of laughter fills my ears..
So where do I go from here? When the intensity of you seers? Creating a smokescreen of darkness near Way forward is so unclear..
So where do I go from here? When it's me I cannot bear? Self belief is in it's grave Why can't I shed a tear?
So where do I go from here? When I cannot see you near? Open up my eyes wider to you Surely the only answer here..
So where do I go from here? When my life raft I cannot steer Lost at sea I can't find me Do I wait for the mist to clear?
(©) Dom Giddy 2020