If You Ask Me Tomorrow
Foreword: I lost my mother to early onset dementia in 2001. She was in her 50's. We started noticing signs in her late 40's. I'm in my late 40's. My memory recall has been getting a lot worse. I wrote this as a therapy for myself and how it can feel for me, but also how I saw it for my mother.
I remember what I need to do
For a fleeting moment
I'm sure I do
Inexplicably trapped, muffled screaming
The task at hand
Has lost it's meaning
The words ensnared too
Lost, like a child in the mist
Moment has passed, can't break through dismissed
Mind could recall the words so quickly before
Faster than a Wild West gunslinger
Bullet in the back, shot to the floor, words no more
It's like a familiar shape, a sound, a blank
You've seen them before, an acquaintance maybe?
In the queue at the bank?
I need to press Ctrl Alt Delete for my brain
Bring up the task master
Choose an option, refrain
My mind races forwards to search for the phrase
Only to find when it gets there
Haze upon haze
I started to notice you creep up on me
I put you to the back of my mind
Hoping you wouldn't see
The irony being, of tucking you away
If you ask me tomorrow
I won't remember anyway.
(©) Dom Giddy 2021