If You Ask Me Tomorrow

Foreword: I lost my mother to early onset dementia in 2001. She was in her 50's. We started noticing signs in her late 40's. I'm in my late 40's. My memory recall has been getting a lot worse. I wrote this as a therapy for myself and how it can feel for me, but also how I saw it for my mother.

I remember what I need to do

For a fleeting moment

I'm sure I do

Inexplicably trapped, muffled screaming

The task at hand

Has lost it's meaning

The words ensnared too

Lost, like a child in the mist

Moment has passed, can't break through dismissed

Mind could recall the words so quickly before

Faster than a Wild West gunslinger

Bullet in the back, shot to the floor, words no more

It's like a familiar shape, a sound, a blank

You've seen them before, an acquaintance maybe?

In the queue at the bank?

I need to press Ctrl Alt Delete for my brain

Bring up the task master

Choose an option, refrain

My mind races forwards to search for the phrase

Only to find when it gets there

Haze upon haze

I started to notice you creep up on me

I put you to the back of my mind

Hoping you wouldn't see

The irony being, of tucking you away

If you ask me tomorrow

I won't remember anyway.

(©) Dom Giddy 2021