I Didn't See Him Go.

Foreword: This piece is written about how much I appear to be struggling mentally at the moment. Certainly the current COVID-19 situation doesn't help at all, with the world of normality turned on its head. Lacking any sort of motivation or ability to concentrate and complete one task are very much at the forefront of my mind. I want to feel happy, I want to be able to complete something, anything to say that I have achieved something. I know eventually this form of mental struggle will pass. I know I have to ride it out...again. I've started jobs on my old classic mini, to either run out of skills or patience or both. I have things, tasks to complete, but in this mindset, no matter how hard I try, there is a numbness squeezing my head preventing me from doing it. I tried to do something relatively constructive by writing this.

The sun is shining

So why aren't I?

Numbness and anger

I can't deny..

Motivation once was my friend

Seems such a long time ago

Ignored him too much

I didn't see him go..

Wander of out my world

Hides in a place I cannot see

I call and I shout out

But he runs and he flees

I shout aloud through the streets in my mind

But they're empty and deserted

Leaves only memories behind

Of a time in the past with positiveness I flirted

Awoken from this dream

To a seam of negativity I've reverted

To my consciousness 

It taunts and it jeers

Holding happy prisoner 

But releases my fears..

But I have to fight back 

If I believe it or not

To leave it unchecked 

Would set in the rot..

I have to have faith..

You know a better way..

That you'll open my ears 

When to you alone I pray..

(©) Dom Giddy 2020